Happy Anniversary to Me

I made it. I year ago coincidentally almost to the exact time I write this, I was finally fixing my spine. It was a long, long road. After countless hours researching, visiting more doctors for opinions and alternatives than I can keep track of, I had my fusion. Not coincidentally on what was my Grandpa's birthday. I figured I could use all the help I could get and he could look down on everything and make sure it all would be OK. It was.

That is not to say it has not been a long, long, road. I was fused in five months which for having two levels repaired was great. I was a good girl and very compliant (my mom would beg to differ I am sure, but that's what moms are for!) and wore my bone growth stimulator 24/7, kept my brace on, and walked, walked, walked which promotes fusing.

The road has had some bumps. Some bigger than others. Many I still have to deal with today. Having your entire insides moved out of the way does effect things later on and that is all the detail I will give on that! My recovery, though uneventful at the time, has been long and at times tedious. Fusing your spine changes the entire way it works and other levels then have more stress. I have a problem with my cervical spine now and not sure if I did it compensating when recovering or if it was just brewing before unnoticed. Probably a combination of both, I had to get in some crazy positions post op to get comfortable so who knows what I did!

In a weird way this whole experience was good for my kids. Except for the stress of when I was in the hospital which I think all kids could do without as that is just plain scary for them, they were very caring and helpful to me and each other. A new level of independence was learned and as much as I hated not being able to take care of them it was reassuring to see that they can function and figure things out.

Once again Bill and I saw that we can do anything together. We have always been a great team and experiences like this just solidify that. We always know what the other needs. One particular night when I was in the hospital I was not feeling well at all. Bill had left before dinner time to spend the evening with the kids and give his mom a break. I think he made the drive home and turned right around and came back. I woke up to see him sitting there and felt huge relief that he was there. I didn't ask for him to stay or come back but he said he got home and just knew I needed him and he came back. He said I slept most of the time but he felt better knowing he was there. Obviously I did too.

I had so many people do so many wonderful things for our family. My friends organized meals to be brought in. Our church pastor checked on Bill and stopped by after my surgery. My sisters, mom, and mother in law took time off work to stay with me and the kids. Church friends brought meals, treats, and gifts.

It is a humbling experience to not be able to take care of your children and your home. When you are the one taking care of others both as a mom and a former nurse, my life has revolved around taking care of others. Nurses do make the worst patients for this reason! Still I would not change a thing. I am so glad that I finally had this done. The pain of all of it is haunting but I'm so glad that the worst is over. I truly appreciate everything I am able to do. Bending over to unload the dishwasher, a chore I used to dread, I am grateful to be able to do. I have gotten all my energy back and am not wasting any time! I am so grateful for everything I can do.

Life is too short and I am not wasting a minute of it!

Thank you Bill for everything and then some. I love you and could never have done all this without you.